Tag: transmutation

Book Review | Healing Trauma by Peter Levine

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Healing Trauma is a groundbreaking book by Peter Levine that offers a fresh perspective on the treatment of trauma. The author has extensive experience in the field of trauma therapy and has developed a unique approach that combines Eastern wisdom with Western science.

The book begins by exploring the nature of trauma and its effects on the body and mind. Levine argues that trauma is not simply a psychological phenomenon, but a somatic one as well. Trauma is stored in the body, and unless it is released, it can continue to cause physical and emotional pain. He believes that by addressing the body’s response to trauma, we can begin to heal the wounds that have been inflicted.

Levine’s approach is based on his understanding of the body’s natural healing capacity. He believes that trauma can be healed by reconnecting with the body’s innate wisdom and by restoring the body’s natural balance. He explains that trauma disrupts the body’s natural rhythms, and that the key to healing is to restore these rhythms.

One of the most powerful aspects of Levine’s approach is his emphasis on the importance of grounding. He believes that trauma disconnects us from our bodies, and that grounding techniques can help us reconnect. He says, “Rebuilding connection is really the key to all of these exercises, because trauma is about a loss of connection, first to the body and self, and second to others and the environment.” Levine offers a variety of grounding exercises that are designed to help us feel more present in our bodies and to help us feel safe and secure.

Another key element of Levine’s approach is the use of somatic experiencing. This is a technique that helps individuals release the energy that has been trapped in their bodies as a result of trauma. Levine explains that trauma is often accompanied by intense physical sensations, and that these sensations can be released through somatic experiencing.

Levine’s approach is also deeply compassionate. He recognizes the suffering that trauma can cause, and he offers a gentle, compassionate approach to healing. He emphasizes the importance of self-care, and he encourages individuals to take responsibility for their own healing.

Overall, Healing Trauma is a powerful and important book that offers hope and healing to those who have suffered from trauma. Levine’s approach is based on a deep understanding of the body’s natural healing capacity, and his emphasis on grounding and somatic experiencing makes his approach both unique and effective. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has experienced trauma or wants to know more about how to help others who are struggling after a traumatic experience.

Marion Woodman & the Embodied, Conscious Feminine

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Marion Woodman (1928-2018) was a renowned Canadian Jungian analyst, author, and lecturer who dedicated her life to exploring the relationship between the body, psyche, and spirit. She is best known for her pioneering work in the field of feminine psychology and the embodiment of the soul.

Born in London, Ontario in 1928, Marion Woodman grew up in a strict Presbyterian family. Her childhood was marked by a sense of spiritual longing and a desire to understand the mysteries of the universe. She pursued this interest through the study of literature and mythology, earning a Bachelor of Arts in English from the University of Western Ontario in 1949.

Over the course of her career, Woodman became increasingly interested in the relationship between the body and the psyche. She believed that our bodies hold a wealth of wisdom and that by listening to the signals of the body, we can gain access to our deepest truths. She developed a form of therapy that uses movement, breath, and other embodied practices to help clients connect with their inner selves.

Woodman’s work was deeply informed by her own struggles with anorexia, which she battled throughout her life. She believed that her eating disorder was a manifestation of a deeper spiritual crisis, and that by working with the body, she could access the spiritual realm and find healing.

Woodman’s work on feminine psychology has had a profound impact on the field of psychology, and her insights into the ways in which the feminine has been repressed and suppressed in Western culture have helped to open up new avenues for healing and transformation.

One of Woodman’s most influential books on feminine psychology is “Addiction to Perfection,” which explores the ways in which women in particular have been socialized to strive for perfection at the expense of their own health and well-being. Woodman argues that this addiction to perfection is a form of self-destructive behavior that is rooted in a disconnection from the body and from the feminine. She believes that we have been conditioned to believe that our bodies are flawed, imperfect, and unworthy of love, and have been taught to value ourselves based on external criteria such as beauty, success, and achievement, rather than on the deeper qualities of the soul.

In “The Pregnant Virgin,” Woodman explores the archetype of the Virgin Mary as a symbol of the feminine in Western culture. She argues that Mary represents a kind of split between the body and the spirit, and that this split has led to a profound sense of disconnection from the body and from the earth. Woodman suggests that the repression of the feminine has created a deep wound in the collective psyche, and that this wound must be healed if we are to find wholeness and integration. She believes that the suppression of the feminine has led to a profound sense of disconnection from the body, from the earth, and from our own souls.

Another key aspect of Woodman’s work on feminine psychology is her focus on the body and the ways in which it holds wisdom and healing. She believed that the body is a source of intuitive knowledge, and that by listening to the signals of the body, we can gain access to our deepest truths. In her book “Dancing in the Flames,” Woodman writes about the importance of embodiment and the ways in which movement and dance can help us to connect with the body and access its wisdom.

Woodman’s work on feminine psychology has also had a profound impact on the field of addiction treatment. In her book “The Ravaged Bridegroom,” she explores the connection between addiction and the suppression of the feminine. She argues that addiction is a form of self-destructive behavior that is rooted in a disconnection from the body and from the feminine. For Woodman, addiction is a symptom of a deeper wound in the psyche, a wound that is created by the suppression of the feminine, and that to heal addiction, we must learn to reconnect with the body and with the feminine.

Throughout her career, Woodman was also a passionate advocate for women’s rights and a pioneer in the field of feminine spirituality. She believed that by reclaiming the feminine, both men and women could find greater wholeness and healing, and she worked tirelessly to promote this message throughout her life. Her insights into the ways in which the feminine has been repressed and suppressed in Western culture have helped to open up new avenues for healing and transformation, and her message of wholeness and integration remains as relevant today as it was during her lifetime.

Entering the Hermes Field

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Journal Date: Saturday, January 2, 2021

I remember early on into the first month or so of quarantine– I was reading a book on alchemy, and it was describing the process of “entering the Hermes field,” and how to use this in your own spiritual development and awakening.

In the book, the author creatively describes a meeting with Hermes, and suggests that you can also directly communicate with him, and ask for guidance.

So I decided to try it.

“Hermes, I’m ready– show me my shadow. I’m ready to see the truth.”

I was answered almost immediately, that same night.

It was a lot– it felt very intense. So much so that I had to modify my request a little bit: “I’m ready, but please just show me what I can handle right now. Not more, and not less, just exactly what I am capable of handling at any given moment.”

Honestly, I was scared.

I was coming up against things I’d been running from for a lifetime.

And it hurt. It was painful to see what was there to be seen.

—

Painful, but not exactly surprising.

I already knew I was pretty messed up.

The surprise came just a few months into it, though, when the things I was seeing shifted from how I was wrong, and started to reveal to me how others needed to be held accountable.

This was where it started to get really difficult. 

I was used to being the one to blame. My inner critic was so easy to activate, it was already so natural for me to punish myself.

But what do I do when I have to hold other people accountable?

That was beyond terrifying to me.

How could I begin to come to terms with the vast amount of mistreatment from all those people I felt so powerless with?

This was the hardest thing: to come to terms with my family and how they had treated me.

I’d never really allowed myself to consider this.

I’d rather throw myself under the bus, and punish myself, than face the truth of what my family was.

I resisted.

But it soon became undeniable.

There was something deeply wrong with the narrative I’d been sold about who I was, and why they acted as they did toward me.

The narrative was coming undone, even though I’d done my best for 32 years to hold the bundles of lies and patchwork logic together.

I’d changed myself to fit their demands.

I’d sinned just to earn a place in their hell.

And it was all starting to unravel itself before my eyes.

There was nothing I could do to stop it now.

I could look away, but the thread had been pulled loose, and was now coming undone through a life of its own.

Coagulation | The Seventh Phase of Alchemy

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The seventh and final phase of alchemy is known as coagulation, in which the alchemist completes the Great Work and creates the Philosopher’s stone. 

In laboratory alchemy, this is thought to occur after the process of distillation is completed and the matter congeals into a solid substance. 

In personal alchemy, it signifies the completion of the process of solve et coagula, or dissolve and coagulate. 

In what is known as the lesser work, the elements of the lower personality or ego are burned away and dissolved in order to be recombined into a greater whole. 

The great work culminates in the final union of the purified self with the greater whole, a union of the microcosm of man with the macrocosm of the universe. According to Paracelsus, the result is a “completely healed human being who has burned away all the dross of his lower being and is free to fly as the Phoenix.” 

On a spiritual level, the completion of the great work is thought to produce an entirely new body for the alchemist, an energy body of golden light that would survive beyond physical death. Paracelsus referred to this body as the Iliaster, or “the Star in Man.” 

Once the Philosopher’s stone has been created, the alchemist can then use two operations, projection and multiplication, to increase the effects of his powerful achievement. 

Projection is the use of the Philosopher’s stone to transmute base metals such as lead into gold. According to Dennis William Hauck, “it is said that just a tiny piece of the Stone or a pinch of the red powder of projection made from it is enough to perfect the metals and transmute lead into gold.”

Multiplication is the ability to heal and increase the amount of whatever it comes into contact with. “Just a touch of the Stone or a grain of the red powder will cause plants to grow to perfection or cells to be healed and multiply perfectly,” says Hauck. 

This highlights the ultimate purpose of achieving coagulation and creating the Philosopher’s stone: it is not simply to transcend the material plane, but to bring the spiritual wisdom encountered back to heal the earth and other people.

As the Emerald Tablet says, “Its inherent strength is perfected if it is turned into Earth. Thus you will obtain the glory of the whole Universe.”

Distillation | The Sixth Phase of Alchemy

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After the visionary turmoil and excitement of fermentation comes the sixth phase of alchemy, known as Distillation. 

In this process, the inspired material left over from the fifth phase of alchemy is refined through a process of repeated separation and recombination.

In laboratory alchemy, this often takes place through a process known as rectification. This usually involves the use of two different vessels, a lower one known as the curcubit in which the material is heated, and an upper vessel known as an alembic in which the rising vapors are then collected to be further refined.

The alchemical process of personal distillation is quite similar. It is reminiscent of the earlier process of separation, in which the higher or more authentic elements of the self are separated from the dross of the ego. 

The difference here is that distillation is a longer, ongoing process in which the matter, in this case the soul, is raised to a higher level and, just as in laboratory alchemy, goes on to later receive the influx of purified essence again. 

It is as if we receive the visionary inspiration characteristic of fermentation again and again, which gives us guidance as to how to proceed in this work of purification. When we have taken action and purified ourselves, this purified essence is then brought back down again to influence the original matter and be purified yet again.

Fermentation | The Fifth Phase of Alchemy

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The process of Fermentation is typically regarded as being composed of two steps in both laboratory and psycho-spiritual alchemy.

The first phase is known as putrefaction, in which the matter undergoes a second death and is cleansed of all remaining impurities. It is somewhat similar to the first phase of alchemy, calcination, in which the heavy dross of the material is burned off. The putrefaction is the final cleansing of the substance undergoing alchemical transformation.

The second part, or the true fermentation, began with a display of colors known as the cauda pavonis, or peacock’s tail.

In this second part of fermentation, the alchemist may experience visions or engage with psychic energies in a process known as active imagination. The alchemist may also experience fermentation through meaningful or prophetic dreams, out-of-body experiences, or through the use of entheogens or other mind-altering substances.

This fifth step of alchemy is critical in the Great Work, as through this process the seeker is given guidance and inspiration for how to continue on the path toward enlightenment.

Rubedo: the Red Phase of Alchemy

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After the whitening of the albedo comes the last phase of the Great Work: the red phase, or reddening.

The white phase consisted of an intense process of purification, in which all the rotting decayed matter that had died during the nigredo was thoroughly cleansed of impurities. What was left was then considered clean but also very sterile, incapable of producing new life and lacking animation.

The purpose of the red phase was to make the matter come alive again. This process was initiated with the completion of the last phase of the albedo, conjunction, which was known to alchemists as “the marriage of the sun and moon.”

The rubedo continues this work of uniting opposite energies or elements until the Great Work has been completed.

The first process in the red phase of alchemy is known as fermentation, where the alchemist receives visions and other types of inspiration that will ultimately guide them to the end of the Great Work.

This is followed by a long process known as distillation, in which the alchemist is tasked with separating “the earth from the fire, the subtle from the gross.”

The final phase, coagulation, marks the completion of the Great Work and the creation of the Philosopher’s stone.

Separation | The Third Operation of Alchemy

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After calcination and dissolution, the third phase of alchemy is known as separation. In practical or laboratory alchemy, it is the process of extracting what is left over and still has value from calcined and dissolved remains. This is then carried forward into the next phase for further processing through heating, filtering, and sifting through the material. 

During the nigredo, the ego is broken down, burnt down by fire and then dissolved in the waters of our psyche. As this happens, the person undergoing this process starts to become more aware of the complex material within, and is often surprised to find that much of it is contradictory, at odds with other psychic elements and with the conscious personality. 

The third phase of the alchemical process involves the close examination of these psychic contents. Using the power of the logical mind, we engage in a reasonable examination of ourselves to determine what represents our true self, and what is merely an ego adaptation that has arisen as a reaction to challenging circumstances in the outer world. 

Like the others before it, this process can be painful, as it often means recognizing the ways in which we have become inauthentic, betrayed ourselves in order to fit in and please others, or have even hurt others in an attempt to protect our self-concept, our illusions around who we think we are (or should be). 

The final end towards which we work in this stage is the recovery of our higher selves. We seek nothing less than reconnection to what in some traditions has been known as our Holy Guardian Angel or True Will. This part of us is discussed by Carl Jung as the Self (with a capital S, in contrast to our smaller ego-based self). 

James Hillman has elaborated on this further in his book The Soul’s Code, where he refers to it as our personal daimon (as did Plato and Plotinus before him). This is the part of us that transcends our current circumstances, or even this physical incarnation. It comprises our immortal soul, the part of us that is eternal, and which carries the seeds of our destiny into this physical existence when we are born, and guides us through the twists and turns of our individual fate as time goes on. 

Ultimately, the process of separation we engage with here seeks to leave behind the parts of ourselves that are inauthentic. We detach ourselves from the ego structures we once built up to protect ourselves, in order to be reunited with the core of who we truly are. 

VITRIOL

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I’ve been thinking often about the past.

That is nothing new. But what is new are the things that are coming up for me.

So many long-forgotten memories are coming to the surface.

So many feelings and events and versions of me that I have mostly been avoiding. The past is so painful, I’ve just wanted to bury the entire thing and forget about it all.

But I’ve been surprised by my self the past few days; not all of these memories are bad ones.

There are actually many, many things which have made me smile. And some which have even made me feel very proud of myself and the person I was.

Mostly, it has been bittersweet.

I’ve been able to look back and see that there were so many good things about me that I have chosen to not recognize.

And I have found that even in the most painful, tragic circumstances of my past, there is the recognition that I was truly doing the best I knew how to do.

Now that I’m further removed from it, I can see the impossibility of the situation for what it was. I can forgive myself now. What I did then didn’t mean what I thought it did at the time. Even in my greatest darkness, I find that there is some redemption.

Visita Interiora Terrae Rectificando Invenies Occultum Lapidem

“Visit the innermost parts of the Earth; by setting things right, you will find the Hidden Stone.”

I came across this phrase as I was reading a book on alchemy last night.

I wrote it down immediately. I felt it was perfect for the process I am undergoing now.

I’m visiting the deepest parts of myself, places I didn’t even know existed still. I am going to the core of my being, and with new vision, I find that I am capable of setting things right.

I am finding that what I pushed down as unworthy, the things that weighed heavy on my heart like lead, often contained a secret shimmer of gold.

Remembrance of Things Past

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My first insight into my past lives happened several months ago, and I didn’t think much about it after that. 

It wasn’t until I went to my second session with Angelic that it came up again.

I’m not exactly sure how it came up in our conversation before the reiki healing, but I know I mentioned the short vision of the past life that I’d had, without giving very many details.

Just that I’d had it, and it had seemed like a difficult ending to that life, which seemed to confirm what she had told me before about having had “very trying past lives” where I was “persecuted for something I didn’t do.”

That was all I said, and she didn’t have much to add about it, and so we went ahead and started the session.

I’m pretty sure the part I’m about to describe began as Angelic was working on my 4th to my 3rd chakra.

Here is what I saw then: 

A cathedral at night appeared suddenly. I first saw it from above and kind of descended into it.

It was a cool night, and the inside of this cathedral was lit by hundreds of burning candles.

It was entirely empty, and it seemed to have been very late at night.

The scene then shifted, and I found myself outside, in a covered passageway running alongside one of the cathedral walls.

I then saw my past self, the one I had seen in my first past life vision.

I immediately ran toward her and embraced her. I threw my arms around her and held her so tightly. I was so happy and excited to see this woman I recognized as myself.

We separated, but I held my arm out to her, and then, arm in arm, just like old friends, we walked around the cathedral together, talking and quietly laughing and catching up.

This went on for several moments, then I started to wonder: who was it that had rushed up to meet this self?

I tried to imagine her. I wondered if it was the “me” that was laying there on that table in Angelic’s office, me dressed in an old gray sweater and black leggings, the “me” of today, Eleanor.

I tried to move my awareness out of the body I was inhabiting in this dream space. I tried putting myself in the place of “past me,” to observe from there this self that had just now rushed up to meet her with so much joy.

I took a step back then, and observed my Self.

I saw a brilliant white body of light, radiating outward, and having the outline of a human form. I saw this self as pure light, pure energy.

But when I decided to get closer and look directly at this self, this brilliant light became a perfect mirror, reflecting back to me my own image, whatever that happened to be at the time.

The scene shifted again. It was now the beginning of a very cool early morning, and I was in the graveyard outside the cathedral.

I came to my own grave. My past self had recently been buried here, and there were hundreds of white roses that had been piled upon my tomb earlier.

Then I found myself in this tomb, from within the vantage point of my buried past self.

There was a crack, a sliver of light coming through between the two heavy stones that had been laid over my grave.

I began to feel restless, and started shifting and moving around there in my grave.

Suddenly, I knew what I had to do. It was time for me to get up, and to leave my burial place behind.

I was concentrating on this when I heard a noise coming from right outside of Angelic’s office.

It was two older men who had started using one of the exercise machines placed right next to her door.

I started to get really upset. I was so mad. “Why won’t they just shut up?” I wondered.

I returned to my vision, and kept trying to focus on pushing aside the heavy tombstones and escaping my grave.

But the voices outside were too loud. They were too distracting.

“I can’t do it,” I thought. “They’re too loud, it’s their fault and I can’t so I won’t even try anymore.”

I started to get even more angry and upset.

“Here I am, trying to escape my grave, and these people are making it impossible for me. I’m doing my best to heal and I can’t because these people won’t let me!”

Then I had an insight: this was just like in my real life. 

People were always going to be in my way, telling me I couldn’t do this or I didn’t deserve that.

I had to be willing to stand up and rise, no matter what was going on outside of me. 

And so I made the decision: I was getting myself out of that grave, no matter what.

I turned my attention back to my inner vision. 

I focused on the heavy stones above my grave, and willed them to move apart enough that I could find my way out.

I was determined. This time, I wasn’t going to let anything stop me. 

The men outside kept talking. They kept on and on, but I just focused on my vision.

The voices outside were so loud then, they even appeared as characters in my vision (as angry townspeople yelling at the edge of the cemetary).

But I was already out. Nothing could stop me now.

Dressed in my burial gown of gold and white, I pulled myself completely out of that grave, and I started to run.

The sun was brilliant, blazing high above me. It shone for me, and it gave me strength. I felt this powerful, glowing warmth within and without. 

I picked up the pace, and I ran.

I ran and I ran, faster than I’d ever run before.

It was exhilarating. This freedom, this speed, this joy, as I ran, self-possessed and self-assured, encouraged by my brilliant, loving and powerful sun.

I ran. I came to a cliff’s edge and I jumped, leaping up, arms outstretched, to kiss the sun.

I became one with this power, before I turned and dove down, down into the sea below.

I started to swim slowly down, then more quickly.

Swiftly, I moved through the dark, quiet sea. 

As I swam, I picked up momentum, and quickly I made my way to the very bottom of the ocean.

I arrived at the very depths, and here, I found a great black boulder, and I swam near and pulled myself to rest on top of it.

Then suddenly, I was no longer at the bottom of the sea.

Instead, I saw myself, naked, covered only by my long black hair, sitting on this rock in outer space. 

I sat on this small black moon, a planet all to myself. 

An interstellar breeze caressed my skin and rustled my hair as I sat on my moon, contemplating the cosmos.

I was here for only a moment, not long at all, before I was overtaken by a new vision.

I was no longer on my moon. I was no longer anywhere, really.

All I knew was fire, all I could see where deep orange flames everywhere around me. 

I felt the anguish of burning, deep rage.

“NOOOOOOOOO!!”

I let out this primal animal scream inside my mind.

“No!” I repeated. “No! You don’t know me! Get away from me, get out! No!”

I wasn’t sure what was going on, or what this was about. 

But I knew that it was right for me to be here. 

I knew it was right for this to burn, so that one day it would turn to ashes, as it should.

So I let it burn.

My rage was all the fuel I ever needed, and I allowed it to be so.

I watched, in the flames, of the flames, on fire with this rage, consumed and willing to be here till eternity if need be.

Slowly, the flames died down, and then, a new vision quietly emerged.

Down at my feet, I felt the same vines of white roses as before appear, and begin to twine themselves over my body. The vine snaked itself around me, crawled around both of my ankles, white roses blooming, lovingly rooting me to the earth.

I felt a deep and pervading sense of calm. Maybe forgiveness, but even more than that, a sense of rightness, of being well with the world, of acceptance by the earth.

It told me, “It is okay. You don’t have to struggle anymore. You deserve to be here. Rest, you are at home.”