Personality : Projector :: Environment : Screen

Journal Date: November 28, 2020

I’m still thinking about everything I learned last night.

It’s nothing new (I first read these lessons in 2014), but it feels like I’m seeing them with new eyes. 

I feel more capable of comprehending it

I guess it’s supposed to be that way.

The last lesson I read (Lesson 2 of “Tarot Interpretation”) said about as much. 

It said that as we “ripen”, we’ll come to even deeper and deeper levels of understanding. We’re never truly “finished”. The earlier understandings, while perhaps incomplete, were still important: they were exactly what we needed at that stage of our development.


I’m glad that I’ve finally taken up my BOTA studies again after so long (it’s been years).

This is the perfect time to come back to them.

I’d kind of wondered why I resisted for so long, but maybe it was just that the time wasn’t right. 

I wasn’t yet ready, but now I am.

I’m amazed by how many synchronicities I’ve experienced since coming back to it.

It’s been very magical. 

I think this means I’m on the right track.


The reading, and especially the passages I quoted yesterday, raised so many important questions.

Last time, I tried to answer what it was inside that I was projecting out, the effects on me and my environment, and finally, how all those ideas about who I was in relation to my world even got there in the first place.

Now, I’d like to address the following questions: if it is true that our personality is like a projector, and our environment is the screen… then what do I want to do with this knowledge?

What kind of life do I want?

What kind of thoughts and visualizations do I need to hold in my inner world?

How can I use speech, or my own mental definitions of myself and my relationship to my circumstances, to create the life I want to live?


Obviously, that’s a question that can’t be answered all at once–I’m just setting out the terms of what I’ll be inquiring into.

These are good questions though, and I think they’ll help me get better answers.


Here are some more questions I wrote to help in my exploration. I encourage you to take a moment to pull out a pen and paper and jot down some notes on whatever comes up for you. 

  • Write a list of some of you beliefs about yourself and about the world (both positive and negative). 
    • How did you come to develop these beliefs?
    • What outcomes did having these beliefs have on your experiences after?
  • Examine how your inner world creates your experience. Match thoughts to things. 
    • Can you find evidence to the contrary which might disprove some of your beliefs about yourself?
    • What do you usually do with such evidence when confronted with it?
  • Consider the following: “If our definitions be wrong, because we are deluded by appearances, the appearances grow worse and worse.” 
    • How has this played out in your own life? Give specific examples.

Feel free to share in the comments what resonated most, I’d love to hear what is on your mind.

The Devil Laughs at You

Journal Date: November 27th, 2020

Something funny just happened.

So, I had done my hair and makeup earlier, and I decided to be silly and take some selfies and then posted some stories on Instagram. 

When I came back to my B.O.T.A. stuff there was another card on top of my papers. It was Key 15, the Devil.

I didn’t think all that much of it at the time, but then I started to wonder.

That’s not the card I had been working on.

When I left my work, I had been studying the Tower, and that card was still where I had left it at the top of the pile.

But somehow, the Devil had made its way from the bottom of that pile and over on to the rest of my papers. 

Without me remembering having touched it…

Hm. I wonder what that means?

Well, as I’ve been learning, the Devil can mean ignorance and limitation, but also overemphasis on the physical and concern with appearances. 

It also refers to mirth, to not taking things too seriously, to laughing, enjoying yourself and having a good time.

I’m still not sure how it happened, and it’s not a big deal. Just an interesting little synchronicity that has given me something to think about…